Forever changing

I guess this is what they call growth and seasons. I feel like  chchchanges. I was reflecting on my early Christian years, ones I'm not proud of. To my years as a mom, to now. I feel like I am standing at a crossroads. For 8 1/2 years I have taken on everything it is to be a mom. Now I stand in between who I was/am as an individual and as a mom. I have allowed my life to become my kids, after all they are only mine for 18 years right? Well, recently I have spent time away from them doing things I used to do and love before them. This has been good and weird. As being a mom has grown me into who I am. I am rediscovering who I was. Somethings are fun and great, others are struggles I've tried to put behind me. Mostly being caddy and talking a bit too much. I really feel like I've grown a lot in this area. However, lately I've walked the line. Saying things that don't need to be said. Blah blah blah Maybe it's just me but when all I did was stay at home with the kids and talk to no one, not an issue. Now I just feel I need to dig deep in the book of James and remember to listen and know that sometimes it is best to stay quiet no matter how funny I think I am.... I want fruit in my life while balancing the person God created me to be. This is my continual quest, who did God design me to be and how does it fit in the body of Christ without getting kicked out. Someday I may understand how and why he wired me this way. I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone else. Thanks for being apart of the journey. That is if you read this far.....