How are you doing?

I get asked this ALOT lately.  Truth is it changes day to day sometimes moment to moment. So my usual answer is "ok". Because I am. I'm just ok. I miss my mom. I miss so many things about her. I still haven't figured out what our lives look like without her. I hurt for my kids who are really beginning to miss her. I miss her cooking, her laugh, her millions of phone call. I even miss the way she would ring the door bell like 10 times whenever she came over, always might I add, unannounced. I have not kicked the feeling that this is a terrible mistake and she is going to walk through my front door and the kids will run to hug her like always. Ugg this sucks. So I'm thinking ok is good. It has been 1 month. Some people would say I should be feeling better now. I'm not. I'm just ok.......