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7 Stages of Grief...

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably
react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the
reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock
provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This
may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears
off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although
excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience
the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with
alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over
things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and
scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration
gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for
the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent
damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release
of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning
"Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be
for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just
bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just
when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a
long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a
normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning
outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this
stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the
true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate
yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and
focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or
despair.

7 Stages of Grief...

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As
you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a
little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and
your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As
you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you
will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by
life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and
financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without
him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last
of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal
with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily
mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have
experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that
existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

7 stages of grief...

You
will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future.
Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without
pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once
again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again
in the experience of living.