Words.This being the third time I've gone through this I have learned much about the grief process I wish I didn't know. A big part is people have no idea what to say. Really it doesn't matter what anyone says because nothing can "fix" it or make me feel better. One thing that I know I don't like is the term, "We lost my ......" My Mom, dad, sister is not lost. I know exactly where they are. Whenever I miss them I try to think of it like they moved. Moved to paradise. They are so happy. Will said yesterday he wants to be rich enough to build stairs to Heaven so he can visit. The truth is if that were even possible we wouldn't visit. We would move there too. Never wanting to come back. If you knew my sister you know that when we get there she is going to rub it in that she got 8 years with just dad and now she has both of them all to herself. So now I say "They are with the Lord" or "Passed on" not away but on.
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Very well put & Will is just the sweetest :) Do we get together soon? Girls night?
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those people that doesn't know what to say. When I was faced with grief, I didn't know what I wanted to hear. I didn't want to sound ungrateful, but there really is no magical word that can alter this new reality, this living without someone who held a piece of your heart. The only thing you can do is to work your way through a metamorphosis of learning to turn the physical presence of your Mom into memories, which in turn will become so much part of you that her presence will always be with you. And that shift takes time. A lot of time. Don't force yourself into ignoring your sadness, but do relish the beautiful memories, even if that is painful right now. Love is never lost.
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